The Desk
by Ditzy 1978
Summary: What happens when Harry is left an enchanted desk. Attempted suicide. HPSS. Slash. Complete.
1. Default Chapter

The Desk  
  
20 February 1998  
  
I had another occlumency lesson with Potter today. Though I see no point to them any more he can guard against attacks now and Harry has become quite an accomplished Legilimens, I now can not defend myself against him if he wishes to attack me. I thought that this would be a bad idea, giving Potter the means in which to invade the majority of people's privacy without them even realising it. Potter has however kept to the boundaries of decency and has only used his skills when they have been important to the cause or for his own personal safety.  
  
These instances happen more often than we would have wished for since the Dark Lords return was made public. Unfortunately the Dark Lord never really trusted me after his return. He always knew that I had truly changed sides before Harry's short term defeat of him in 1981.  
  
It was Harry's Legilimens skill which allowed me to survive. He realised that the Dark Lord was going to kill me at a Death Eater meeting and told Dumbledore what was going to happen. However Dumbledore could not get together enough Order members to get me out and it ended up that the "Golden Trio" rescued me.  
  
This should have truly aggravated me, to now owe my life to another Potter. Not to mention a Weasley and Granger. Actually owing my life to Weasley and Granger still does annoy the hell out of me, however owing my life to Potter doesn't bother me. Maybe because I have for more than half of my life owed my life to a Potter and now it doesn't fell strange to, but I don't think that is the reason.  
  
I have got to know Potter a little better in my occlumency lessons with him, I admit I have misjudged the boy. When I have seen him I have only really seen his father and assumed that they would be the same people the same strengths and weaknesses. Assumed that Harry would be as big a bully as his father. Because of which, I overlooked the bullying that Harry has received while at this school. Though to be fair it is Minerva's responsibility to make sure that her student isn't being bullied, however since it is my student's who have been doing most of the bullying with my blessing and protection maybe I can not truly blame her.  
  
I seem to have departed from my train of thought. I need to somehow make Dumbledore see that Harry no longer needs these lessons. I know how important to the cause he is and would not say that he doesn't need anymore lessons if he still needed them, but he is now better at it than I am and there is really nothing else that I can teach him.  
  
There are so many other things that I could be doing with my time if I wasn't giving Harry these lessons. Marking essays, looking after my House, even brewing potions. Unfortunately that is not the reason why I do not want to be teaching Harry on a one to one basis, the real reason is that I am getting far to attached to the boy. I want to stop this process before it gets any worse, I feel as though I could get worse really rapidly and I need to put Harry at a far away enough distance at the start, before things Get out of hand. 


	2. Chap 2

The Desk   
These Characters do not belong to me. I am making no money from using them.  
  
22 March 1998  
  
Dumbledore has finally stopped the occlumency lessons with Potter. I thought that this would mean that I would be seeing a lot less of him, that I would only be seeing him at meal times and potion lessons. I was wrong.  
  
As Dumbledore has managed again to hire a completely incompetent DADA teacher again, Harry is still teaching his DA classes. As I am no longer working under cover, I no longer have to keep my distance from Gryffindors. So Dumbledore has decided that I should help Harry with teaching the DA. This would allow him more time to study for his other subjects, play quidditch and to have more free time.  
  
At first I thought this would be a good thing, it is as well known fact that I have always wanted to be the defence against the dark arts teacher. Then I was told that Potter of cause would still be in charge of the lessons. I would have to be his assistant! Secondly this was not as compulsory group, and student led. As such if I chose to be my usual intimidating self, people would just leave the lessons which of cause is not what Dumbledore wants. I am not allowed to take House points or give detentions in these lessons.  
  
However the main problem is that I have to spend more time with Potter. Dumbledore thankfully believes that the reason I don't want to spend time with him is the same reason that I wouldn't have wanted to spend time with him before. I now wish that it was because I couldn't stand the brat. Liking Harry seems to take a lot more out of me than hating him ever did.  
  
30 March 1998  
  
I had my first DA lesson today. I was actually surprised at how good they were, considering that they only had two decent defence teachers the whole time they have been at school. Even then one was a werewolf the other a Death Eater using polyjuice. It didn't take long to realise however that the reason that the majority of the students were able to do more than the most basic Defence spells was because of Harry. He has a natural grasp of the subject, if he had the same grasp of potions I would have to be worrying about my job in a couple of years, and his teaching methods put mine to shame. They listen to him because they respect him and trust him. He doesn't need to make them fear him to get them to listen to him.  
  
This has just meant that I have ended up respecting him even more. He is a natural leader something that I have always wanted to be. He can still be irresponsible but that is happening less and less, I suppose that any immaturity can be put down to his age.  
  
The main problem is that I am supposed to be trying to stop myself from liking Harry, and when did I start calling him Harry in the first place, I'm going to have to stop that straight away. I have to stop myself from liking Potter, the problem is the more time I spend with him the more I find to like and respect about him. 


	3. chap 3

The Desk  
  
Characters do not belong to me.  
  
30 April  
  
Gryffindor has won the quidditch cup again. I knew when Dumbledore said that Potter could play seeker again for Gryffindor that we wouldn't have a chance again until Potter left. He was amazing today. Really put Malfoy in his place, which is always a good thing in my opinion.  
  
Still helping Harry with the DA, it really isn't as bad as I thought it would be, it has helped my relationship with the students. As pretty much all of the students that are in the DA are the students that I would have had to have been cruel to in the past. I've realised that most of them are truly competent. I'm actually getting on well with Longbottom he is a lot better wizard than his past potion marks would suggest.  
  
My quest to find things to hate about Potter is failing miserably. The more I look to find things to hate, the more I find things to love. Most of Harry antics in the past which I previously would have used as evidence of his extreme arrogance, were done because adults in his past and even present constantly let him down, so he trusts himself more than he trusts adults to sort out the problems. Unfortunately he has been proved correct in not trusting us and has often done as good or better of protecting the school and the wizarding world.  
  
However because of Harry's victory today the chances are slytherin will not win the House cup this year. The only good thing about Umbridge was that she made it impossible for us to lose that year. No one acknowledges the win though as the system was so unfair as to make the win meaningless.  
  
20 June  
  
Harry's last potions lesson today. He's done well he'll get at least an E as long as he doesn't panic in the exam. But he seems to do better in external exams than he does in internal ones. Saying that I always used to mark him down and turn a blind eye when one of my students sabotaged his potion, so of course he does better now than he used to.  
  
I'm not sure how I'm going to cope not seeing him almost every day when he leaves Hogwarts. I guess I'll see him at Order meetings, but it now doesn't seem enough. If anyone had told me even a year ago that I would be getting seriously depressed at the thought of not seeing Harry everyday, I wouldn't have laughed at them, I would have hexed them!  
  
Dumbledore knows how I feel, I have no idea how he knows but he does. He thinks I should say something, that Harry may feel the same way. I however know that the likelihood of Harry liking me as much as I like him is practically nil. So he doesn't seem to hate me as much as he used to, that's probably because I am not as mean to him as I used to be. He now sees it as funny when I'm mean to him, probably because he knows that I don't mean it anymore. He gets my sense of humour not even Dumbledore really gets my sense of humour but Harry does, I guess at worst I think that we will end up as friends.  
  
Ron Weasley doesn't like our friendship, he doesn't trust me with Harry. I think that just goes back to when they didn't trust that I was really on the side of the light. Harry told me about what happened in their first year. I guess from what they saw I did look pretty guilty, however if it was me who was after the philosophers stone I would like to think that I would have been able to hide it from a bunch of first years, and that the only reason that I ended up looking guilty was because I wasn't.  
  
Hermione and the werewolf on the other hand think it is about time that we saw each other as we really are. They both trust me and have gone out of their way to make sure I know that they trust me. It's like they also know how I feel about him and are giving me their blessing, though that is impossible. The only place I have acknowledged how I feel is in this diary. The spells on this desk make it impossible for anyone to get into it and read the diary until I give the desk to someone else.  
  
Even then I have never really acknowledged, even in this, that I love him. I have just expressed how much I like him. Maybe because we spend so much time together, and we no longer complain about it, they think that we want more to happen. But we have to spend that time together it would make sense that they are trying to make us friends, why they read anything other into it I can't work out. Maybe I am reading things into actions which just aren't there, I'm good at reading body language, but wishful thinking could be clouding my judgement. 


	4. Chap 4

The Desk  
  
The characters don't belong to me  
  
28 June  
  
The final battle happened today! We were totally unprepared as we had no warning apart from Hogwarts warning system, we only had about two minutes to prepare. I felt such a failure, it was my job to make sure that we were prepared for eventualities such as these, however because of me being discovered as a spy we had no warning.  
  
However we probably should have guessed, The Dark Lord always seems to wait until the last day of the exams to make an attack. In the past Harry has joked that this is really quite sensitive if him to not interrupt the exam system. However if he had attacked before it would have got him out of the exams, and now he is so paranoid about what is going to happen after the exams his revision and exam performance suffers because of it.  
  
We however gained the victory. Harry did what he has been training to do practically since entering Hogwarts, and especially in the last two years. He managed to alter the magical defences around Hogwarts to when attacked to simply intensify around Gryffindor tower then sent all student fifth year and under into the tower even the Slytherins. Also any student above those years who didn't wish to fight also went to the tower. Of course all the Gryffindor sixth and seventh years fought, also the majority of the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff students fought as well. All of the Slytherin students fought as well the surprise of cause was that two of them Draco and Blaise actually fought on our side. Harry had to kill Lucius just to stop him from killing Draco.  
  
We have lost a lot of people today, Minerva was killed Lucius she probably would have been okay but she was taking on Crabbe Sr and Goyle Sr at the same time and couldn't fight all three at the same time. She had managed to take out Crabbe and seriously injure Goyle before she died. Ginny Weasley was seriously injured by her brother Percy, Ron managed to kill him before he managed to kill her though. Ron however was killed later in the battle by Bellatrix Lestrange, she was later killed by Neville Longbottom. Other losses include Seamus Finnegan, Parvati Patel, Susan Bones and Luna Lovegood. Of cause the major death on the dark side was Voldemort. Which effectively meant that the war was over.  
  
I guess this means I'm finally free, I of cause will still have to be careful, while Voldemort is dead his supporters are still out there. Most of the most powerful have been captured though, and I think that I'm more than a match for most of them.  
  
I can move on. I know longer have to teach ungrateful brats how to make potions anymore. I could get a job as a senior researcher, or open an apothecary. All dreams that I have had since I have been working here. I now find that these no longer have any appeal now that they are a possibility. I wonder if the only reason I hated this job was because I had no choice but to do it. Would I have chosen this life willingly if I had had a choice. I admit when I have a student who truly excels at potions I love teaching it even if that student is not a Slytherin. I even find it a small victory when students who have no talent in the subject, such as Longbottom leave with an acceptable mark in their Potion O.W.L, even though I only allow people with an outstanding mark into my N.E.W.T class. I can't believe after all these years of feeling like I was trapped in a place that I thought I didn't want to be, I realise that I actually love this job.  
  
8 July  
  
Harry's last day at school today. It will probably be the last time that I will ever see him. It took a few days after the battle to realise that I would no longer have an excuse to see Harry, as after the final battle as the Order is no longer needed.  
  
I do not know what I am going to do. While I found that I actually love teaching now that I no longer am forced into it. It isn't enough without Harry in my life, I don't see the point of carrying on. I don't need him in my life as a partner though that would be wonderful, but the thought of never seeing him at all is to much for me to be able to take.  
  
At the leaving feast Harry came up to me and told me how grateful he was to have had me as a teacher. This would give me hope of seeing him again, if I had not had other students in the past do the same thing and then never seen them again. This in the past has never truly bothered me, not that I did not want to see these students again, it was that I just assumed that it was part of the job. It's my fault that I have got too attached to Harry and now I am hoping that Harry will be the exception to the rule, it is possible he often is the exception to the rule, but this time I think that it is unlikely.  
  
I have nothing to live for anymore. I no longer want to be here. What is there left for me. If I add extra Asphodel to the Draught of Living Death it becomes lethal. It is also painless, if caught quick enough or if the antidote has been taken before hand it will just give me a good nights sleep, but no one is going to be able to brew the antidote in time to stop the desired effect.  
  
All I need to do is sort out what will happen to my belongings after I die. And to brew the poison. The desk's spells will make sure that my belongings will be delivered to the people they were meant to go to after I drink the poison. I wish Harry to have this desk and it's contents. As for all my other belongings I wish to leave them all to Albus.  
  
I suppose that has sorted everything out. I guess I had better get on with it. I have nothing else to do.  
  
Don't worry this is not the end. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed it means a lot to me. 


	5. chap 5

The Desk  
  
Characters don't belong to me  
  
20 February  
  
"Wake up Harry. Harry wake up!"  
  
"Go away Ron, want to sleep."  
  
"If you don't get up soon, you'll be late for lessons. It's McGonagall first lesson and you know how she get when we're late. Anyway there is a very big package here for you and I want to see what it is and where and who it is from."  
  
"Right so it's not about getting me up on time, it's just your curiosity."  
  
"Just get up and look at it Harry."  
  
Harry got up, just to frustrate Ron went to the bathroom to get ready for the day, then went back to the dorm room to look at the package. As he got into the room he found all of the people in the dorm were waiting for him to tell them what the package was. He also realised that Transfiguration was not due to start for another hour.  
  
"Guys I could have stayed in bed for another twenty minutes, you're so impatient."  
  
"We could've allowed you to sleep, but where is the fun in that. Also we wouldn't have known what it is until the end of lessons today. Not to mention that you've got occlumency today so we probably won't know what it is until you got back from that." Seamus replied.  
  
"Tough, if you can be annoying enough to get me up twenty minutes before I need to get up. I can decide not to open this until the end of my occlumency, and I won't."  
  
"Come on Harry you've got to open it, or we will be thinking about this all day instead of lessons."  
  
"No Ron, you will be. I have learned to control my curiosity. Now I'm going for breakfast."

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"Morning Harry, you're down for breakfast early. You might even have time to chew your breakfast today."  
  
"Morning Hermione, I'm not down this early through choice, Ron woke me up early to get me to open a package that arrived in the dorm room for me this morning."  
  
Hermione looked worried, "Did you open it? I hope you didn't, a parcel that is delivered to your room not to the Great Hall could be really dangerous Harry. You really shouldn't open suspicious packages like that on your own without a teacher present, to make sure that there is no jinxes or curses on it." She said very quickly.  
  
"I haven't opened it yet, though I never thought of that. I just never opened it because I was annoyed at Ron for waking me up early. And I knew that not opening it yet would be the best way to get back at him, but your right I don't know who it's from so I'll ask Professor Dumbledore to look at it first before I open it. I have to talk to him anyway about my occlumency lessons anyway."  
  
"You're not complaining about those lessons again are you? I thought you understood how important they are since Sirius died."  
  
"Hermione of cause I know how important the lessons are. Have you heard me complain about them for the last year? Yes I may have complained about Snape being unfair, and any way he has been ok since about half way though the sixth year. But I haven't complained about the lessons since well before then.  
  
"It's just that I don't think that Professor Snape can teach me much more. He can't get through my defences any more, Professor Dumbledore may be able to get through my defences now, but he would have to teach me how to block him. I've also been learning Legilimency and I'm getting quite good at it now. Professor Snape can't block me now, and he could block Voldemort! Even Snape has told me that I'm good enough that I no longer need any lessons, and you know that if Snape admits that I'm good at something it means that I am actually really excellent at it."  
  
"I'm sorry Harry, I should know by now that you think things through now more than you used to. I guess sometimes I forget that you are growing up as well. I'm also a little jealous that you get to study such an interesting subject while I don't get to.... No need to smirk Harry, I know that that is just typical of me and my need to know everything, and not having others know more than me. I know my own faults too you know. What was it Snape called me that time? Oh yes, 'An insufferable know it all'. Oh Ron's coming over. Morning Ron."  
  
"Morning Hermione, you wouldn't believe it right, there's this package upstairs waiting for Harr..."  
  
"He's already told me Ron, and he was right to not open it. What if it is jinxed, hexed or cursed?"  
  
"I never thought about that, it good job that you didn't listen to it and open it mate, and your right I need to stop being so curious. What is that muggle phrase? 'Curiosity killed the dog.'"  
  
"Cat" Harry, Hermione and Dean said simultaneously.  
  
"Anyway you guys need to hurry up and finish you breakfast, transfiguration starts in about ten minutes and you'll be late. You coming Harry?"  
  
"Yeah, see you guys later."

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Professor Dumbledore had given Harry the pass word to his office at the beginning of Harry's sixth year. He realised his mistake of the past of not always being candid with Harry, while he had never lied to Harry, he had kept too much from him. Dumbledore has tried to make that up to Harry by making sure that he is always available to him.  
  
"Hello Harry, what can I do for you today?"  
  
"Hello Professor, I've come to talk to you about two things. The first thing is about my occlumency lessons..."  
  
"Oh yes, Professor Snape has been to talk to me about the lessons earlier today, he believes that there is little left that he can teach you in the subject as you can block him easily when he tries to attack you. He even says that he can not block you when you use your legilimency skills against him.  
  
"I was wondering if you would allow me to try and break your defences? I believe that if I am unable to penetrate them Voldemort will not be able to. I would also like you to try and penetrate my defences don't worry if you can not while it would be a handy tool to have against him it would not be essential."  
  
"That would be fine sir, I'm ready when you are."  
  
"Legilimens." Harry felt the strongest attack that he had even felt on his mind, apart from when Voldemort possessed him for those few seconds at the end of his fifth year. Even though this was the strongest attack apart from that Harry could repel the attack without feeling drained.  
  
"Well done Harry," Dumbledore said, his eyes were twinkling more than Harry had seen them since the beginning of the second war. "The strength of the attack that I was using was enough to posses the majority of wizards the fact that you blocked it completely, is very encouraging. It shows great strength of character.  
  
"I would like you to try and attack me now, unless you feel too tired to do so now? It probably took a lot of energy to stop that attack I made on you."  
  
"I'm not feeling too tired to make an attempt, do you want me to do it now?" At Dumbledore's nod he made the attack.  
  
"Legilimens." After saying the incantation Harry could clearly see pictures of event sweet that you can imagine in his head. He couldn't penetrate any more than that though.  
  
"I can see sweets, but nothing more."  
  
"Well done Harry that is better than I expected you to be able to do considering I was expecting the attack. I couldn't block you completely however I could divert you to a picture you will be able to tell when someone does that as they can only divert you to a still picture, and it will be something that truly represents that person.  
  
"I see no reason for you to carry on taking occlumency lessons."  
  
"Sir the second thing was something I need you to do for me. A very large package was delivered to the dorm room this morning and I'm not sure that it is safe to open. I was wondering if you could check it for jinxes and the like for me to make sure that it is safe."  
  
"That would be my pleasure Harry. I'll do that for you tomorrow.  
  
"I also have something to ask you, I know that you have a lot on your plate at the moment and I would like to ask if Professor Snape could help you with the DA? You would still be in charge he would be your assistant but I believe that it could cut down the amount of work that you do and increase the efficiency of the lessons."  
  
"I think that you are right sir, but I'm not sure if all of the DA members would be happy with Professor Snape being in the DA meetings, as they are very relaxed and they would not like to be thinking about having detentions or losing House points in the meetings. I am worried that less people would come to the meetings."  
  
"Don't worry, I will make sure Severus knows the rules of which he will be operating under while in DA meetings. I will insist that while he is in the meetings he will treat you as equals."  
  
"I think that that would be ok sir, but I'll still have to ask the rest of the DA if that is ok with them."  
  
"Thank you Harry, now did you wish to talk to me about anything else?"  
  
"No sir."  
  
"Then I'll see you tomorrow before breakfast then Harry. Sleep well."  
  
"See you tomorrow sir, good night."


	6. Chap 6

The Desk

21 February 1998

"Ron get up."

"Go away Harry, I'm sorry for getting you up early yesterday ok. Now yet me go back to sleep."

"Professor Dumbledore's here to open the package from yesterday. Don't you want to see what it is?"

"Good morning Ronald, how are you this morning?" Professor Dumbledore's eyes were sparkling with obvious amusement of the conversation that had just taken place.

"I'm fine professor. I'm sorry I did not see you there."

"Ok I think that we should get to business. I'll check to see if this has any curses or the like on this. It shouldn't take very long. Though at the moment I do not feel a malicious aura from it I suspect that it is perfectly harmless."

Dumbledore then proceeded to chant the most complicated spell that Harry and indeed all the seventh year Gryffindor boys had ever heard. The package glowed a brilliant white and then went back to it usual colour.

"Yes as I thought it is perfectly harmless. While this is a magical object it is free of any dark magic what so ever. If it had any dark magic on it, it would have glowed either grey or black depending on the power of the curse or curses on it.

"You can open it now if you wish Harry. I must confess to being slightly curious to know what it is myself. It is rare that gifts are delivered magically rather than by owl or house elf."

Harry immediately went to open the present. It was wrapped in old fashioned brown paper which was easy to tare. The present was a very unusual and very old desk. The desk was obviously hundreds of years old.

"Harry do you have any idea who sent you this?" Dumbledore asked obviously very surprised by the gift that Harry had been given. "I have seen a desk identical to this one before. Infact I see it very often as it belongs to Severus Snape. However as far as I know it is a one of a kind which is very magical and can only be given away, it can not be stolen as it will find it's way back to it's owner."

"I don't know who it is from, that is one of then reasons that I asked you to check it for me sir."

"Well lets look inside it to see if there are any clues as to where it could have come from." Inside the desk there was a book that seemed to be a journal. "Oh my, this seems to be Severus's desk. This certainly is his journal, though I do not understand. I know that this is one of Severus's most prised possessions and I believe that he would only give it away in the event of his death. As I have already seen Severus today I know that he is perfectly healthy, so I am astounded that he would give this desk to you, at this time.

"Harry do you mind if I take this diary for a while? To see if there is anything else that I can find out from it."

"That's ok sir, I'd like to know what is happening myself."

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Dumbledore went straight to his office to think out the issue. He had a feeling that this was much more important than it seemed to be. He decided that the first thing that he should do was read the diary. While he didn't feel one hundred percent comfortable reading his colleague's diary he really had to understand that had made his colleague do something so out of the normal.

He of cause knew that Severus did not hate Harry as much as he made out, (well at least not any more) and it was probable that he truly liked him, if not loved him. So that was not the reason that he was shocked at the gift. The reason was that Severus truly loved that desk, while he was happy to leave all his other belongings at Snape Manor when he moved to Hogwarts he had insisted on bringing the desk with him. As far as Dumbledore knew it was the only object that Severus had an emotional attachment to.

So while Harry receiving a gift from Severus would not real shock him. Harry receiving this gift had astounded him.

The first problem that Dumbledore faced however was that the diary was completely blank. Dumbledore knew that while Severus did not write in his journal every day he knew that he did frequently write in it, so that this meant that Severus must have put a spell on it that only he and the person that he had given it to would be able to read it. He thought about trying to break the spell but decided that that would be going too far. Not to mention that Severus' spells were hard to break. Many people have thought because Severus is a potions master that his spell work is not as good as the other teachers here, but that is far from the truth. The only reason he doesn't have the DADA job is because it is so hard to find a good potions master.

The only thing Dumbledore could think of doing was to simply ask Severus why he had given his desk to Harry. He had been planning on seeing Severus later to see if he would be willing to help Harry with the DA later anyway. He had a feeling that Harry would be able to get the DA to see that having Severus helping Harry would be a good thing not just for Harry but for them as well. Though he had a feeling that they would put up with Snape even if it was just for Harry sake.

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After supper Dumbledore went to see Professor Snape. He had got very little done that day as he had spent most of the day trying to figure out this mystery. While for the last few years Dumbledore had been trying to help Harry get over his curiosity in order to keep him safe. He had only partially succeeded as, to be totally honest he hadn't wanted to succeed. Harry's curiosity was one of the reasons that Dumbledore loved Harry so much, he of cause knew that as headmaster he was not supposed to have favourites but as powerful as he is he still only human. Also the reason he loved this trait in Harry was because he too was extremely curios though some especially Severus would simply call him nosy.

"Severus would it be possible to talk to you now, if you are too busy I can come back and talk to you later."

"I'm free now headmaster what would you like to talk to me about?"

Dumbledore and Snape walked into the potion master's quarters. Dumbledore then had the surprise of his life. Professor Snape's desk was sitting right there in his office it obviously hadn't been moved since the last time that he had been in Severus' quarters.

This cleared up the question of why Severus would give Harry his desk to Harry, he hadn't. However it led to new questions, as Severus' desk was one of a kind, that he knew for a certainty. How was it that Severus' desk was both here and upstairs? Would Severus' diary hold any answers to this riddle? And is it significant that Harry received the desk?

Dumbledore talked to Severus about him assisting Harry with the DA, Snape agreed in principal, however did not seem to be too happy about being the assistant, but was happy to finally get his teach defence against the dark arts. Dumbledore also let Snape into his belief that Harry was also teaching the students curses as well, and if that was the case not to let him know as he would have to stop the lessons in those circumstances and he really didn't want to have to do that.

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Dumbledore decided that he would have to try and break the spells on the diary to see why Harry had an exact copy of Snape's desk. It was also possible that Harry would be able to read the diary with no problems at all. Though Dumbledore wanted to solve this mystery on his own. He was aware that it probably would be simpler to ask Harry if he could read the diary, but he rarely did things the simple way and this was to be no exception.


	7. chap 7

The Desk

30 March 1998

"You know Harry, the reason I gave up potions was because I didn't want to have lessons with Snape. It meant that I had to give up my dreams of being an Auror all because I can't stand Snape and now we have to have him in our DA lessons."

"Ron it is not Snape's fault that you put the short term advantage of not having a teacher that you disliked above your long term goal of becoming an Auror. Anyway if you had stayed on you would have found that Snape isn't as mean to students who get into his NEWT class." Hermione answered obviously annoyed at Ron.

"Yeah she's right Ron he's ok in his NEWT class he has been even better since he has been discovered as a spy. I think he had to be more unfair than he would wish to be to try and show to Voldemort that he was loyal to him.

"I mean he'll never be the nicest teacher in the world, but he is fair now. Actually it kind of like being in a lesson with McGonagall, he demands your best but now he actually praises you if you do really well."

Harry understood why Ron was worried about Snape being part of the DA lessons, while everyone involved took the DA seriously, the lessons were also fun. The students felt comfortable with Harry teaching them. However most of the students who went to the DA had given potions up at the end of the fifth year at the first available opportunity. Either because they did not get the grades that they needed to get into the potions NEWT class, or they either hated and/or were scared of Snape. Subsequently most of the DA students did not know that Snape was now not half as bad to students who were not Slytherins anymore.

It had been a hard job to convince them that is was a good idea that Snape should assist Harry with the DA. Hermione had of cause backed him up all the way pointing out that not only did Snape know more about the dark arts and the defence of them than Harry, he would also give Harry more time to concentrate on other subjects, pointing out that Harry was also taking his NEWT's that year. That finally managed to guilt them into accepting Snape in their lessons with no one dropping out.

"Ok I get it, Snape isn't as bad any more, but there is no way that these lessons are going to be as much fun as they used to be. I bet he gives his first detention within ten minutes and takes points within the first five."

"Ron I've already told you and everybody else that he won't be able to give detentions or take points in these lessons. Not to mention the fact that I am in charge of these lessons." Said Harry now getting as irritated with Ron as Hermione was earlier.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"See the lesson wasn't all that bad now was it?" Harry said gloatingly to Ron

"Ok it wasn't that bad, actually he was quite nice I thought he would take this as an opportunity to bully us again but he didn't he was even nice to Neville, well not nice but not horrible. Is that what he's like in potions? Because it wouldn't have been to bad sticking out if he is like that now."

"Yes actually that is what he is like now in lessons, he will take points if you do something wrong, as you know he doesn't suffer fools gladly. But now he is fair across the Houses, he doesn't take more points for the same mistake from a Gryffindor than he would from a Slytherin. You can still get detentions from him too but now when you get them you know that you really deserved it. If you need proof of that he hasn't given Harry a detention since last year."

"She's right Ron, he hasn't. Actually I've been getting on quite well with him for the last year, I actually get on better with him now than I do with McGonagall he's much more useful in a crisis than she is.

"If we had thought that it was McGonagall or indeed any of the other teachers that were after the philosopher's stone in our first year and we had gone to him about it I bet that we wouldn't have had to go and save the day ourselves, he would have contacted Dumbledore straight away McGonagall relies on the systems to much."

"Actually I think your right Snape would have been more useful than McGonagall was in that situation if we had trusted him. But I can't believe that you like Snape more than her, he has been unfair to you for years and he is such a Slytherin."

"Ron" Hermione exclaimed "I thought you were getting past these sort of prejudices. They're wrong, as wrong as not liking just because they are muggle born."

"Maybe that's the reason I like him, I was almost placed in Slytherin. Most people say that I am the most Slytherin, Gryffindor ever, though I'm not sure of that, Dumbledore can act like a Slytherin when he wants to. Actually Snape can do a pretty good impression of a Gryffindor when he wants to. Maybe that's it I get on with people who are borderline between Gryffindor and Slytherin."

"Harry you don't need to explain yourself Ron was wrong to say what he just said it should be him who is explaining himself."

"She's right Harry I do know better than putting someone down just because of what house they are in, but I still find it hard to trust him even though you and Hermione do. I think it's probably because I haven't really had to get to know him since he hasn't been in the service of you-know-who or pretending to be at least. This is the first time I've seen him act like a human being." Ron said looking guilty.

"I guess you haven't really had to see him since the fifth year... Anyway guys I've got to see Dumbledore I'll see you guys later."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hello Harry."

"Hello Professor how are you today?"

"I'm fine Harry. So how was your first DA lesson with Professor Snape today?"

"It went fine sir, he never got angry once did not try and give any detentions or try and take any points. I think if nothing changes after about four lessons my classmates won't be worried to go to lessons."

Dumbledore's eyes took on their usual sparkle "I'm glad to hear that Harry. Though I assume that wasn't the reason you can all the way down hear to tell me why did you wish to see me Harry? By the way would you like a lemon drop?"

Harry smiled when Dumbledore offered lemon drops it usually meant that at that exact moment there was nothing to worry about it immediately made him feel safe. "Yes please." Harry immediately became to feel relaxed he knew it was because of the calming potion on them but didn't really care,

"Sir I was wondering if you have finished with the diary from the desk?"

"I haven't yet Harry, I will return it to you when I have got some answers from it. I'm sorry it has taken so long, I assure you I am trying my hardest to get my head around this puzzle."

"That's ok sir I'm just curious to find out where the desk is from and if there is an important reason that I have it."

"I understand Harry I will do my utmost to see that the diary is returned to you as quickly as possible."

"Thank you sir. May I go now?"

"Of cause Harry. Goodnight."

"Goodnight sir."

Dumbledore had in fact been putting a lot of effort into reading the diary, however he was unable to crack the protective spells on the diary which where designed to keep the diary private. He knew that he should have given the diary to Harry to see if he could read it but he wasn't ready to give up trying to solve this puzzle on his own.

_Thanks to everybody who have spent time reading this story especially to those who have reviewed. I'm not that happy with this chapter but if I waited until I was happy with it I would never put anything out so I'm putting this out any way and again thank you for reading this._


	8. Chap 8

I still after all this time I don't own any of these characters Ms Rowling refuses to give them to me, and really why should she?

29 June 1998

"Harry I know that this is a stupid question, but how are you feeling today?" Dumbledore asked looking extremely concerned with no evidence of his usual twinkle in his eyes.

The final battle had happened the day before and Harry had again had to watch people that he cared about die. Infact the last person to die on the side of the light had been Harry's best friend Ron Weasley. However Harry had managed to kill Voldemort which effectively meant that at least the worst of the war was over.

"I don't really know how to feel sir. I lost so many people yesterday, Ron died just to save my life. I know that was his choice and he did it to make sure that I survived to fight Voldemort, but I don't think that Bellatrix could have killed me. What if he died for no reason?"

"Harry we have no way to know if she could kill you, though I suspect that no one is capable of killing you apart from Voldemort, I am not sure that she could not. Ron decided that he could not take that risk. Do you think that if Ron had not done what he did and you had died that he would have been able to live with himself?"

"I know that he wouldn't, he proved that he would die to make sure that I survived in the first year, it's the uncertainty about whether it was a necessary for him to die or not."

"I understand Harry. What is truly worrying me is that in the past you have seemed to try and take person responsibility for everybody on our side that has died. I wanted to make sure that you didn't start to do that again. Bellatrix Lestrange was responsible for Ron's death not you. You also are not responsible for any one else who died yesterday. What you and Hermione did to the school wards actually saved more lives than we reasonably could have expected to save, also you killing Voldemort saved more lives than we will ever know.

"You have again lived up to all expectations that any one could possibly have for you and exceeded them. I can not tell you how proud I am of you and what a privilege it has been to be part of your life."

"Thank you sir."

"Harry unfortunately I am again forced to ask for you forgiveness. A few months ago you received a desk with a diary inside of it."

"I remember sir, you were going to see if you could get any information from the diary"

"Yes Harry, I however was unable to gain any information from the diary it is obvious that the diary has some information within it however the diary has very powerful privacy spells on it. I was unable to break the privacy spells. Though I have from the beginning suspected that you would easily be able to break the spells put on it. I hope there is nothing in the diary that would have prevented what happened yesterday."

"Sir even if there is a detailed description of what happened yesterday I don't think that in the heat of the battle that there would be anything that we would have been able to do about it. I suspect that what happened is what was supposed to happen including you not giving me the diary."

"Harry I have realised for a long time now that you are truly an adult, but if I didn't know that before I certainly realise it now. I think it is time I returned the diary to you."

Dumbledore gave the diary back to Harry. Of cause Harry automatically opens the diary without even thinking about it. He is instantly confronted with Professor Snape's writing without even having to utter a spell.

"I can read the diary sir, it's Professor Snape's it begins at the beginning of the year and end on..." Harry skipped through the pages till the last page that he could see Professor Snape's writing. "the 8th of July."

"Harry I think that you should read through that diary very carefully I think you are right the thing's that have happened already should have happened, however I suspect that there is something between now and the 8th that you are supposed to change I believe that the answer is in the diary."

"Yes sir I agree. Is that all you wanted to see me about or should I leave now?"

"No there is one more thing I wanted to ask you if you would be able to take over as Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher next year or I should say in September. I will also be asking Miss Granger to take over teaching Transfiguration. I realise that you were planning to go into Auror training and I understand if you say no to this position, though I must say that you have a gift for teaching defence."

"I have been thinking for a while that I do not wish to be an Auror anymore and I do enjoy teaching the DA. I'm not sure how good I would be at some of the other things though like marking essays and stuff."

"Harry if you took the position you would learn skills such as those very quickly what is important is knowing the subject, which you do. Knowing how to teach, which you do and having the respect of the students, which you have."

"But what if they don't respect me as a professor I know that they do as a peer but I won't be any more."

"When myself, Minerva and Severus where telling the younger students to go onto the quidditch pitch and you were telling them to go into Gryffindor tower who did the listen to? I think that answers the question about respect."

"I suppose that you are right about that I just a bit worried I just don't want to be another bad defence teacher. As we have had enough of those already but I think I am better than a lot of them already."

"Yes Harry you are, however I will have to give you a syllabus much of the things that you have taught in the DA would get the school closed down if the were taught in Defence Against the Dark Arts lessons."

"I understand sir I don't think that they should be taught really either. It's just that we were in a war situation and I couldn't pretend that we wouldn't need spells that we wouldn't usually use and that shouldn't really be taught in school."

"I know Harry. And you don't have to call me sir any more we will be colleges in a few weeks time, call me Albus. Also I was hoping that if you took the job as Defence teacher that you would be prepared to take on the responsibility of Gryffindor House. They will probably be feeling insecure after Minerva's death and they need someone who they trust. Also I have noticed that you a Severus have become quite close over the last few months hopefully you friendship will encourage greater co-operation between Slytherin and Gryffindor Houses."

"I'll fulfil the role as best as I can sir, sorry Albus."

"Thank you Harry I'll talk to you tomorrow about the syllabus for your lessons when you go up to Gryffindor house would you ask Hermione to come down and talk to me please?"

"Yes Albus I'll see you tomorrow."

**Sorry this took so long I couldn't find any inspiration. Again thank you to every one who is reading this.**


	9. Chap 9

Characters don't belong to me.

6 July 1998

"Harry what you doing today?" Hermione asked looking concerned. Harry had been rather depressed since the end of the battle. Of cause it was understandable, Harry had good reason to be feeling down, he had lost his best friend, his best friend since he was eleven years old. Ron's sister was also in critical condition in the hospital wing with the rest of her family around her.

The war had not in any way spared the Weasleys. Arthur had died on a mission for the order the year before, as had Charlie in a different mission. Fred had also died in an attack of Weasleys Wizard Weazes at the beginning of the year. Percy of cause had defected to Voldermort's side and had been killed by Ron after he tried to kill Ginny. So it was a much smaller Weasley family that surrounded Ginny in the hospital wing.

Harry had of cause spent much of his time in the hospital wing sitting with Ginny himself. The Weasleys of cause did not blame Harry for anything that had happened to the family over the last two years. They knew where the blame lay, and were trying to support Harry in any way that they could. However Harry felt slightly guilty about leaning on the Weasleys as they had had more than their fair share of disasters in the last two years.

Hermione also was trying to give Harry as much support as she could, though Harry was also aware that Ron's death had effected her almost as much as it had effected him. She however had Draco to lean on, over the last year they had been seeing each other in secret. Ron and Harry had known about this as at the beginning of the sixth year as the three of them had agreed not to keep secrets from each other unless it was essential to the order, and they had all kept to the rule.

It had been important before the battle that Hermione and Draco keep their relationship secret as it could have lead to both being ostracized from their Houses. Though for Draco it would have been far worse, as his family would never accept that he was dated a Muggle born witch. It was possible that Lucius would have killed Draco as he had tried to in the final battle. Things now were much safer for them to be honest about their relationship and while Hermione really was grieving for Ron, she was revelling in being able to be honest about her and Draco.

"I'm fine Hermione I'm just reading this diary I think I will have to finish by today, I have a feeling that if I don't something else bad will happen."

"Harry you have to stop taking responsibility for every bad thing that happens try to do something fun today. I'll get Draco to go flying with you to take your mind of things."

"I understand what you are saying Hermione, but I really think that I need to finish this. Once I have finished reading through this I'll take you up on that offer. I'm going to see Ginny as well but I should be free after that."

"Okay I'll see you later then Harry."

"Okay, see you later."

Harry soon got lost in reading the diary. It gave him an insight into Snape that he had not had before. It became obvious why he was so grumpy all the time with all the responsibilities that he had. Of cause he also in the past had to pretend that he was far more cruel than he infact was. The biggest surprise for Harry however was the way that Severus felt about him. He and Professor Snape had been getting on far better in the last few months, but that Snape was in love with him was something that truly shocked Harry.

Harry needed time to process this information, the thought that Snape would feel that way about him had never crossed his mind. Shortly after his short time dating Cho Harry realised that while he liked girls, he found that he found men to be more attractive. So he had no problem with Severus being a man. He had even developed a rather overwhelming crush on the Professor, however he never thought that Snape would like him back. He also was not sure that if the feelings that he had towards Professor Snape could be described as love.

It was ironic that the man who was often used by the wizarding world as the poster child as to what love could achieve, really didn't know what love truly looked of felt like. He knew that there were many people who truly loved him, but it was something that he had lived without for such a long period of time he had never been truly comfortable with the emotion.

He decided to go and see Ginny before finishing the rest of the diary. As Ginny wasn't conscious yet he would have time to think about what he had found out in the diary, and process the information before he read anything else.

When he got down to the hospital wing he found that there was only Molly Weasley sitting with Ginny. As usual she fussed over him, asking whether he was okay or not. She also told him that Ginny had woken up earlier in the day and had now been given dreamless sleep potion to aid her healing. However it looked that in a few weeks that Ginny would be absolutely fine. Harry couldn't make up his mind whether this or finding out about how Severus felt about him was the best news that he had heard about that day.

At this thought Harry realised that he was thinking about what he had found out about Severus being in love with him was good news. Which made him realise that he felt the same way. Now he only had to figure out how to approach Severus, since it was obvious that it would have to be him who made the approach. He decided that he would read the rest of the diary as soon as possible to see if he could find any clue as to what the best way to approach him would be.

As soon as Harry could get away from the hospital wing without looking rude, or looking that he didn't really care, Harry left to finish the diary. An hour later Harry had finished reading the journal.

Harry and Dumbledore had suspected that there was a reason that he was supposed to receive the diary, something that he was supposed to change. He of cause now knew what it was that he was supposed to change.

Harry knew how to make the antidote to the draught of living death, he also knew that if taken before or very soon after taking the lethal version of the potion it would lessen the effect and that the person who had taken the poison would in the end just have a very good sleep. There was also the advantage that this potion was colourless, odourless and tasteless he realised that it should be able to slip the potion into something that Snape was drinking pretty easily he had a feeling that he knew when he would be able to do it.

He decided to get Hermione to help him to make the potion though, as while he had before a far better than average potion brewer over the last two years, Hermione was still better at it than he was. This was not a potion that Harry could afford to mess up, so he needed Hermione on the case.

Harry realised that he still had his DA coin. This was used to call DA members in the case of an emergency. As far as Harry was concerned this counted as an emergency, so you used the coin to call Hermione.

It took a few minutes for Harry to fill in Hermione into what he had read and what they would need to do. Hermione knew what ingredients the potion would need before she even looked in her text books even though she did refer to the text book. It became obvious very quickly that there were certain ingredients that they would have to steal, while neither of them had a problem doing this they had stolen plenty of potion ingredients in the past. The problem was that they had less than 24 hours in which to do it.

"Harry, Draco could get these ingredients easily, can you imagine we'll actually be able to make a potion outside of class and not have to steal the ingredients. I never thought that that would ever happen."

"Typical it would have to happen in our last week in school. Can you get Draco do you think that he would help?"

"I'm sure that he will, I'll ask him to meet us with the ingredients tomorrow after breakfast in Myrtle's bathroom. Is that ok?"

"It takes 24 hours to finish brewing so that should give us plenty of time."

"Okay see you tomorrow Harry."

"See you tomorrow Hermione."

**Thanks again to everyone who had reviewed this. I'll try and post again soon.**


	10. Chap 10

All characters belong to JK Rowling They will never be mine.

7 July 1998

Harry went to breakfast looking like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders, he had not slept well the night before worrying about whether he would be able to finish the antidote on time. He knew that on paper they had enough time, but he couldn't help thinking about what would happen if something went wrong. Harry had lost more people in his life so far than anyone should have to deal with and the thought of losing another person who he cared about scared him.

"Harry don't look so worried. I know why you're worrying and everything will be ok. We have both brewed potions that are harder than this before and they have turned out fine. I know that this is more important, but all we have to do is keep a level head and everything will turn out fine." Said Hermione by way of a morning greeting.

"Good morning to you too Hermione. How are you today?" Sarcasm had always been Ron's domain, but Harry was not above being sarcastic when the occasion called for it.

"Are you sure that Draco will be able to get everything that we will need?"

"I don't see why not, anyway if he is not able to get them we will know soon enough, and we won't be any worse off than where we are now. Anyway we have nicked potions ingredients before and that was before me and Draco were prefects, it will be easy to get them now. So stop worrying."

"Okay I'll try to stop worrying, but I don't think that I will really stop worrying until I have seen Se...Snape drinking that potion."

"Are you going to eat your breakfast because if your not we might as well get going and start."

"I'm not hungry let's go."

They made their way up to the girls bathroom. Hermione worried about Harry, Harry worried about whether they would be able to save Severus's life. He was still surprised about how much he cared, while he would be concerned about anyone in the same position, but the worry was actually driving him crazy.

Hermione and Harry had to wait about 10 minutes before Draco joined them. He had all of the ingredients with him, which made Harry feel a little better all they had to do now was brew the potion properly.

"I know why you are brewing this potion, but wouldn't it be easier just to tell Severus how you feel about him, and that you are not leaving Hogwarts tomorrow. Then he wouldn't take the poison in the first place." Draco said looking confused.

It was the sort of question that Ron would have asked. In a weird way helped to settle Harry's nerves, it made thing just seem normal. By the time Harry had finished the thought process that he was thinking, Hermione had finished explaining to Draco why it was impossible to change the course of the stated future, and that they would simply have to explain to Snape what has been happening over the last couple of months in two days time and that there is no need to go to such drastic measures.

8 July 1998

Hogwart's students were treated to a sight that they never thought that they would ever see. Harry, Hermione and Draco were sitting together with their heads together. It was strange even though everyone in the school knew that Draco had turned to the side of the light and a few of them knew about Hermione and Draco being a couple, seeing the three of them obviously working together was something that they never thought that they would ever see. That it was the last day that the three of them would be at school as students made the sight even more ironic.

"Everything to do with the potion had gone perfectly so far and it will be finished in just over ten minutes Harry. Have you thought about how you are going to get him to drink it? I hadn't thought about that yet." Hermione said for the first time in the process looking worried.

"The antidote has no way of detecting it and you also don't need a lot of it for it to be effective. So I have two options I could slip some into his drink when I talk to him at the leaving feast. Although I think that it would be a risky because I think that he would notice me doing it. I mean he is always aware of what is happening around him isn't he.

"The other option would be to get one of the house elves to put it into his drink. I could get Dobby to do that all I would have to do is convince him that it is for Professor Snape's own good. I think that they trust me enough that they would do that for me. Although this is also risky because if they decide that they don't trust us, as they know about the animosity that we have had with Professor Snape and might think that we are trying to hurt him. Then we could end up in all kinds of trouble." Harry said looking worried again.

"Dumbledore knows about the diary right?" Harry and Hermione both nod at Draco's question. "So why don't you just tell him what the diary says is going to happen tell him that we have made the antidote and that we need him to make sure that Snape gets given it."

"That has got to be one of the most simple plans that I have ever heard and you know what it will work and I have no idea why we didn't think about it."

"Come on Hermione a plan where we just get the headmaster to help us there is no way that we would have ever thought of doing that. It's just not what we do." Harry said smirking.

"By the way I think we need to get the antidote. If anything goes wrong at this stage we are stuffed."

"Yeah come on lets go."

The three of them ran up to the bathroom. As you would expect from a potion brewed by Hermione it was of course perfect.

Hermione put the potion into a few potion phials. They had made more of the potion that they would need however they were pretty sure that Dumbledore would be able to find a use for the rest of it.

It took over an hour to explain what had been happening with the diary to Dumbledore. He agreed to make sure that Severus received the potion in his pumpkin juice that evening. The house elves would of course know that he wouldn't be trying to poison Snape so he did not have to worry about that.

Though he made the suggestion that as they had made so much of the potion that it would be easier to put the antidote into everyone's pumpkin juice that way they wouldn't have to make sure that Severus drank from a specific goblet. It would mean that less could go wrong.

Dumbledore watched Severus like a hawk at the leaving feast. However Dumbledore was actually far more subtle than anyone would give him credit for. So Severus ate his meal totally oblivious that Dumbledore was watching him. Although he was aware of being closely watched by Draco, Harry and Hermione. That made him slightly uncomfortable not that anything showed. What was even more strange for him that they all seemed to visibly relax at exactly the same time and stop watching him as intently.

Harry only began to relax at the leaving feast once he had seen Severus drink a good amount of his pumpkin juice. He felt proud of his, Draco's, and Hermione's work as Snape did not detect that anything had been done to his pumpkin juice at all.

Before going to bed for the last time in the Gryffindor dorms Harry told Severus how happy he was that he had been his teacher as it said that he should in the diary and went to bed happy thinking about the different direction that his life would be taking tomorrow.

**I'm so so sorry that this took so long. A combination of a new job and receiving the Sims 2 has put this off. But I absolutely promise that I will have this story finished by the end of October I have one maybe two more chapters left. **


	11. Chap 11

According to other HP writers these characters belong to J K Rowling and a few other assorted companies. However I'm not Ms Rowling nor have I got anything to do with the assorted companies, and so I don't own these characters. Sad but unfortunately true.

9 July 1998

Severus Snape woke up feeling more rested than he could ever remember feeling. For a few seconds he was very appreciative of this. However after a few seconds it occurred to him that he actually shouldn't be waking up at all.

His thought processes at first led him to believe that this must be some sort of after life, which he really didn't want when he had chosen to end things he had really wanted to end them. He hadn't wanted to simply exist somewhere else.

He then realised that if he simply opened his eyes that it would give him a better clue as to where he was. To his surprise he found that he in his room in Hogwarts. This was his biggest nightmare of all, he was now stuck at Hogwarts for all eternity as a Hogwarts ghost, forced to miss Harry forever. He would probably end up like Professor Binns but instead of teaching history he would be teaching potions.

Professor Snape however was not an unintelligent person. He actually was extremely intelligent person. So it did not take him long to work out that he was not floating, and that he could feel the sheets on top of him. Which meant one of two things he was either a poltergeist which was unlikely as poltergeists had never actually lived a mortal existence, and their reason for existence is to create chaos. Severus however was extremely disciplined so that option was practically impossible.

The other option while being incredibly unlikely, was more probable than the other option. He was more than likely still alive. Though he had no idea how this was possible. It was not as if he had been suicidal for a long time, that Dumbledore had seen the signs and had been able to get the antidote to him before the potion he had made could have taken full effect. Even if he had noticed something the day before at dinner, which was unlikely, as the thought to commit suicide had not fully formed, and it would take 24 hours to create the antidote to the potion he took.

He also could not have known what potion that he had taken anyway. So the only other option was that he had made the potion wrong. He knew that that wasn't the case though. Severus simply didn't make mistakes with potions. This was a potion that NEWT students learn in their sixth year, however he had this potion perfected by the time he was a second year. Not because as Sirius would suggest that he knew all the dark arts potions at a really young age. He knew this potion because by the time be had began his third year he knew all of the potions that he would learn while at Hogwarts. For Severus the poison that he created the day before was as easy for him to create as levitating a feather.

Aside from this being an extremely easy potion for him, he knew that making mistakes in potions was dangerous. While he did want to die, he didn't want his death to be painful, he had lived though a lot of pain he felt that he had earned a pain free death.

* * *

Harry woke up feeling more optimistic that he had in a long time. He was almost positive that the plan that he, Dumbledore, Hermione and Draco had come up with would have worked. He couldn't see a reason why it shouldn't have.

Instead of laying in bed for an extra twenty minutes as he tended to when he didn't have to be up early, he got up straight away. A few things were instantly noticeable. The other boys had already packed their things. Normally most of them left a few things behind as they knew that they would be back at most in a couple of months time. However they had packed everything as they were leaving Hogwarts for the last time as students.

But the thing that was most noticeable was that Severus' desk was missing. Harry took this as a good sign if Severus had died the night before the desk would still be in his dorm as Severus left the desk to him. Now that the two time periods had met up with each other there should now only be one desk and so, one would have to disappear.

Harry dressed as fast as he could and went to go to Severus' rooms. He only managed to get to the common room before Hermione stopped him. "Are you going to Professor Snape's rooms? I'm sure he is ok I managed to make the antidote perfectly. I don't normally take as much care over potions as I did this one. I'm sure that every thing worked just fine." Hermione said all in one breath.

While normally when Hermione did this he got a little bit wound up by it. He realised that she was doing it because she was nervous for him and for Severus and that is how she acted when she was nervous. "Yeah I'm just going down to talk to him now. I think he is okay though, the desk isn't there any more which makes me think that he is ok."

"That is a really good sign Harry. I think that he is definitely ok. Oh I'm holding you up and I'm sure that you don't want to be here talking to me. Go on go."

Harry smiled at Hermione and ran off to Severus' rooms.

**Sorry I know I promised to get this finished by today but I still have one more chapter left. I tried to get it all into this one but it just wasn't flowing. I really intend to get this finished in the next week. **


	12. Chap 12

Characters don't belong to me.

9th July 1998

Harry reached Severus' door when it occurred to him that he wasn't sure what to say to him. He now knew that he wanted to give him and Severus a go at seeing if a relationship with each other could work. He knew that he cared about Severus more than he did anyone else. That wasn't what was worrying him.

He was worried about how Severus would react to him meddling with his life. Severus guarded his privacy and he would likely be annoyed. However he knew that Severus loved him and hoped that he wouldn't be too annoyed at him.

He realised that he wasn't achieving anything by standing there so quickly decided that the only thing that he could do was tell Severus honestly what had happened. Also how he felt about Severus and that he would not be going anywhere. All he had to do now is knock.

Severus meanwhile was still wondering how it was possible that he was still alive. He still believed that the most likely reason was that Dumbledore had been meddling again, though it had occurred to him that it could be Harry. Neither of the two were above meddling in other people's lives, it was only the fact that neither ever did so with malice that made either of them bearable. He supposed that both of them would see preventing him committing suicide as something that was good for him. Though the question still remained how did they do it? And how did they know?

His thoughts were moving towards what he should do now, he knew that Dumbledore would he watching him like a hawk and that there would be no way that he would be able to make a successful suicide attempt in the near future and so he might as well stop thinking that way for at least a while. When there was a knock at his door.

No one ever knocked on Severus' door at this time in the morning. Like most potion masters he was a night owl as there where many potions that had to be brewed at either midnight or at dawn. Severus preferred to stay awake for the potions that needed to be brewed at dawn in the summer as he would be more alert. Most people who knew him knew that he was in an even worse mood than normal in the morning.

On opening his door he was not really surprised to see that it was Harry. "It's nice to see that you are okay Severus, do you mind if I call you that now?"

Harry's greeting answered one of Severus' questions now all he needed two know now was how. "I don't mind you calling me Severus, Harry and am I to assume that you are the reason that I am still in the land of the living?"

Severus hoped that he hadn't misread Harry's greeting, he wanted to believe that Harry was responsible for him being alive. It would mean that he had been meddling but as much as he had complained about Harry's meddling in the past, he knew that Harry only meddled when he cared. He wasn't like Dumbledore who simply had a need to know everything. Although Severus did know that Dumbledore did actually care about him. But Harry meddling was a sign that he cared, and Severus desperately wanted to believe that Harry cared about him.

Harry smiled it didn't seem that Severus was too angry at him. "Yes me, Draco, Hermione and Dumbledore. I couldn't let you die, I've lost too many people that I care about over the last few years."

"I care about you too Harry, but I want to know how the four of you managed to reverse the potion that I took last night. You and Hermione and of course Albus are capable of brewing the counter potion. You obviously didn't let Draco any where near it or I would be dead by now. But the counter potion takes 24 hours to make so you must have known at least 24 hours before that I was going to do what I was going to do. However I didn't know then, it was a spur of the moment decision."

"Okay I guess I have a lot to explain..." Harry went on to explain to Severus about the desk going back in time to save Severus' life. About the diary and why the diary wasn't read in time to save Ron, Professor McGonagall and the other people who had died in the final battle. How he had found out that Severus was going to try and kill himself and what they had done to prevent that. After around an hour, Severus knew almost everything that Harry knew.

"I understand what happened now and I am grateful to you for doing what you have done. I certainly am not angry at you. I don't understand why you did save me though, I have always been the teacher that you have hated the most."

"One I wouldn't let anyone in that situation to kill themselves if there was something that I could do to stop it. However I don't hate you I haven't for a long time. I actually care about you a great deal, enough that the thought of you not being part of my life makes me feel sick."

"Are you being serious? In what capacity do you want me in your life Harry? I don't want to put any pressure on you I know that you couldn't feel the same way about me as I feel about you, but if you want me in your life as a friend I will be there whenever you need me. It will be a good incentive to leave the school more often Albus is always telling me that I spend too much time in the castle."

"Severus I want you in my life in the same way that you want me in yours. I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you. I think that we could be good for each other. And you wouldn't have to leave the castle as I'll be here."

"Really you want to be with me? You love me. That doesn't seem like it could be real. Wait why will you be here you should be leaving today. As nasty as I have been in the past about your work, for which I apologies, your work is very good so there is no way that you would have failed anything."

Harry laughed he had never come close to failing any subject apart from potions. That was only because in the past Severus had both made him nervous enough to make mistakes that he would not have ordinarily made. As well as Severus making him far more harshly than he would other students.

"I haven't failed any subjects I won't be coming back as a student. Albus has offered me the defence against the dark arts teaching position. As of today I'm you co-worker."

"Oh great I'm going to have to put up with you at work as well as at home." Severus said at his most sarcastic however he had a twinkle in the eye and was obviously really happy.

"Well it actually gets worse Albus has asked me to be head of Gryffindor house." Harry said nodding his head in mock sincerity.

"Really Harry, congratulations I'm really proud of you."

Harry and Severus spent the rest of the morning talking and missed the rest of the student's leaving for home. Harry and Severus were just grateful to be in the only home either had ever known with the person that they love the most.

**That's your lot folks there may be a sequel but only if I think of a plot bunny that is compatible with this story. I hope you enjoyed my first story and thank you for reading.**


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